Remembering those we miss...

Remembering those that were second mothers...

Her birthday was today and that is probably why I've been thinking about her a bit more this week. Well, and also my recent trip to Disneyland was punctuated by thoughts of her as my parents and I would remember times spent waiting in line and talking about different memories of our family trips together with them.

I think some of my favorite memories of Janet were on those trips. camping trips... Disneyland... Trips halfway across the country to visit friends.

It was often the most fun being the only girl out of the 6 of us because that meant that there were often spaces where people enjoyed having a girl for a while. lol... that meant with one family, I was the only one special enough to play with the vintage Barbie ... and oh, what a Barbie that was... it was so nice to play with her when the boys were off doing who knows what...

and it meant with another family that when I tired of always being princess leia or "julie - the A-team chick" or daisy or whatever token female appeared in the show we were playing ... or simply that I didn't want to climb the apple tree up into the shelf in the back shed... I got to go in and make cookies or brownies. I have amazingly awesome memories of baking with Janet on one of those anniversary weekends or overnighters when I was tired of hanging with the boys...

My heart aches that she did not get to have baking sessions with her granddaughters or chances to cuddle with her grandson when he tires of being the only boy at things. :) And I just know that she would have been loving those chances.

In all this extra wisdom that comes with getting older, I regret that I did not fully realize what opportunities were there to say thank you to her for her impact in my life... She helped to foster along that love of baking and maintaining interest in playing piano. I should have realized that you have to say thank you to people when you have the chance, one of my uncles passed away when I was in high school. I just never imagined that we would lose her and that time would steal away opportunities due to distance... college and such.

So I'll say it now.

Thank you Janet for those memories I have...

I appreciate the way you always allowed me to come inside and bake with you...

and for when you'd put my hair up and I'd look suspiciously like the dog for a while ... until you realized that the ponytail should be lower and would fix it... but that was okay... you didn't have a little girl and the only ponytails you usually made were on the top of Muffin's head...

And for making me remember you when I see mice and most things Disney or old vacation photos.

Oh the memories of old vacation photos.

Well, would you look at that ... :) ... You, Johnstons always put such a united front out on the first day at the park... matching shirts and sweatshirts. :) I remember those trips every time I'm looking around and seeing a batch of matching shirts in line with me...

Your family is perfectly lovely and I know that you would adore all your granddaughters and your grandson... (Steve, Emily, Dave and Talia - you've all done a fantastic job with that side of things, those kids are all wonderful and I can't wait until we can get together this year!)

So again... in memory... and thank you for those that shared her with me...

99 things....

Here are the rules:

Bold the things you’ve done and post this list on your blog then leave me a comment and tell me you did this I can go see. I bet this has gone around the blog world already, so if you've done it, let me know.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyworld
8. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Written something that was published
11. Bungee jumped or parachuted
12. Walked across the Golden Gate Bridge
13. Been in a fist fight
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Seen the Rings of Saturn with a telescope
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when not ill
24. Built a tree house or snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Fired a gun
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Visited the Leaning Tower of Pisa
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal
44. Visited Africa
45. Cried yourself to sleep
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Visited the Eiffel Tower
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Pretended you cooked something from scratch when you didn't
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie or commercial
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold something door to door
62. Gone whale or dolphin watching
64. Donated blood, marrow, etc
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Held onto a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten frog legs or caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Time Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been let go from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Done something illegal
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Sang a solo
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Climbed a mountain
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had surgery
89. Directly saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Seen a loved one die
94. Given birth to a baby
95. Visited the Alamo
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Sent a text message while driving
99. Been stung by a bee

ow...

my toe!

poor little pinky toe.

You are so pretty with your wrap around bruise and fat looking image.

I'm sorry that you're apparently broken and vow to ice you frequently all weekend as well as not put too much pressure on you.

:0(

How did it already get to here?

It's the end of August!

How and why did that happen?

Enjoyed my very warm and humid visit to the Houston area. Not sure if it will work out to visit next year or not with a Vegas trip and most likely another road trip to Edmonton in the books. Maybe they'll be able to come visit the west coast crew again! :)

so...

new rules and guidelines for a better me coming soon...

(as in a post tomorrow... I vowed to post 2 times this weekend and I will do it!)

Wally

I had the pleasure of dog sitting Wally off and on a few times over the last few years and we always had a good time.

Rest in peace my furry friend... I miss you a lot... :)

Regretfully yours....

Finally... time to blog! LOL ... no really, what else am I supposed to do when I'm at the airport for a flight delay ... ? so apologies again for delays but I have mentally been writing this post for quite a while.

It sort of fits into the envy series but it's more of a different nature. :)
* * * * * *

I am not one who really has any regrets but I guess if you start to be patient, then I will start saying well, I guess....

so here it is.

I regret that I have always carried my heart on my sleeve, even when I didn't realize it. I do... it's been a partial bane of my existance because it made me completely transparent when I thought I was being clever and guarding myself well.

I regret that my choice of confidant has not always had my best interests in view and a few times chose to enlighten those that I may have been .. .ah... well... I guess it could be considered slightly stalkerish but I choose to just call it a huge big ole crush. unrequited love if you will... is it really love if it's one sided?

I regret that I held persons who may or may not have been interested in me to a really unfair standard. There is absolutely no way you could have lived up to the guy in my head - you know the one I thought that didn't know ... but totally knew. Can we talk about total mortification... that deepens when you realize what he was thinking when a totally innocent situation then was escalated because 1. they didn't know what he meant and 2. I certainly didn't know what he meant. I've had a lot of time to analyze that one... It would be interesting to actually talk to him again and explain things but as of right now, there's a friends request on facebook but it hasn't been approved yet. and if his marital status is well... marital... i fear that I'd be even more mortified to actually explain in the face of the realization that what could have been really could have been if not for the extreme circumstances that caused us to be totally misguided.

to those that allowed me to be deeply, blissfully oblivious to the status of my 'hiding'... thank you. I was again, mortified to find out you did sorta know but I am grateful that we've never spoken of it. and thank you for still being a friend. your wife and children are lovely and I have nothing but best wishes for you all. (please note that this actually applies to a few people... not calling anyone out here... LOL ) On the other hand, if you would have called me out on it, maybe it would have eased my nerves and not every one of these other guys would have been as disasterous as they were.

so here it is... those are probably the only regrets.. well, other than not taking that bump in flight in May... lol ... and well, backing away when someone teasingly acted like he was going to kiss me. funny that... he also told my parents the first time he met them that we were getting married and sir, I remind you, I'm still waiting for a ring and an official proposal... LOL ... you know who you are. and if you don't remember exactly then yes, I will accept and review applications from all those that may think it was them. we're not getting any younger and I can forgive for not remembering.

where does this really leave me? well, this week, I decided that I have 2 years to turn a thing or two around. I have no intention of being the single fat chick at my 20th reunion and when I say that, I also mean that I have no intention of being the only virgin in the room. so something has to change. My goals at this point are to start an exercise program, cut down on artificial sweetners and soda pop so that I can lose weight and start to see some improvements in how I feel about myself.

I raise my decaf caramel macchiato to my regrets and wish them a sound good bye...!

Wrap up...

Weeeeelllll.... apparently even a challenge like this is too much to expect me to blog consistantly... AND keep track of things.

But... what I can report is that my fast food per week dropped from 10/15 to 5/10... which means my anticipated 50+ was more around 35 or so...

It helps a lot that it's summer and fresh local fruit is starting to be around more.

On the other hand... It's now July... 11 and just a bit more days until Harry Potter part 7.2. :) Yay! And then it's my other vacation... yes, I call it a staycation because I will be down at my Parent's place for a few days and then wandering my way home again around the Washington coast and penninsula and then... just a little while more until TEXAS!! hoping for ice cream and waterparks. LOL

More soon...