Sunday, October 30, 2011

99 things....

Here are the rules:

Bold the things you’ve done and post this list on your blog then leave me a comment and tell me you did this I can go see. I bet this has gone around the blog world already, so if you've done it, let me know.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyworld
8. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Written something that was published
11. Bungee jumped or parachuted
12. Walked across the Golden Gate Bridge
13. Been in a fist fight
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Seen the Rings of Saturn with a telescope
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when not ill
24. Built a tree house or snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Fired a gun
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Visited the Leaning Tower of Pisa
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal
44. Visited Africa
45. Cried yourself to sleep
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Visited the Eiffel Tower
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Pretended you cooked something from scratch when you didn't
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie or commercial
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold something door to door
62. Gone whale or dolphin watching
64. Donated blood, marrow, etc
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Held onto a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten frog legs or caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Time Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been let go from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Done something illegal
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Sang a solo
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Climbed a mountain
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had surgery
89. Directly saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Seen a loved one die
94. Given birth to a baby
95. Visited the Alamo
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Sent a text message while driving
99. Been stung by a bee

Friday, October 21, 2011


my toe!

poor little pinky toe.

You are so pretty with your wrap around bruise and fat looking image.

I'm sorry that you're apparently broken and vow to ice you frequently all weekend as well as not put too much pressure on you.


Saturday, August 27, 2011

How did it already get to here?

It's the end of August!

How and why did that happen?

Enjoyed my very warm and humid visit to the Houston area. Not sure if it will work out to visit next year or not with a Vegas trip and most likely another road trip to Edmonton in the books. Maybe they'll be able to come visit the west coast crew again! :)


new rules and guidelines for a better me coming soon...

(as in a post tomorrow... I vowed to post 2 times this weekend and I will do it!)

Monday, August 15, 2011


I had the pleasure of dog sitting Wally off and on a few times over the last few years and we always had a good time.

Rest in peace my furry friend... I miss you a lot... :)

Friday, August 12, 2011

Regretfully yours....

Finally... time to blog! LOL ... no really, what else am I supposed to do when I'm at the airport for a flight delay ... ? so apologies again for delays but I have mentally been writing this post for quite a while.

It sort of fits into the envy series but it's more of a different nature. :)
* * * * * *

I am not one who really has any regrets but I guess if you start to be patient, then I will start saying well, I guess....

so here it is.

I regret that I have always carried my heart on my sleeve, even when I didn't realize it. I do... it's been a partial bane of my existance because it made me completely transparent when I thought I was being clever and guarding myself well.

I regret that my choice of confidant has not always had my best interests in view and a few times chose to enlighten those that I may have been .. .ah... well... I guess it could be considered slightly stalkerish but I choose to just call it a huge big ole crush. unrequited love if you will... is it really love if it's one sided?

I regret that I held persons who may or may not have been interested in me to a really unfair standard. There is absolutely no way you could have lived up to the guy in my head - you know the one I thought that didn't know ... but totally knew. Can we talk about total mortification... that deepens when you realize what he was thinking when a totally innocent situation then was escalated because 1. they didn't know what he meant and 2. I certainly didn't know what he meant. I've had a lot of time to analyze that one... It would be interesting to actually talk to him again and explain things but as of right now, there's a friends request on facebook but it hasn't been approved yet. and if his marital status is well... marital... i fear that I'd be even more mortified to actually explain in the face of the realization that what could have been really could have been if not for the extreme circumstances that caused us to be totally misguided.

to those that allowed me to be deeply, blissfully oblivious to the status of my 'hiding'... thank you. I was again, mortified to find out you did sorta know but I am grateful that we've never spoken of it. and thank you for still being a friend. your wife and children are lovely and I have nothing but best wishes for you all. (please note that this actually applies to a few people... not calling anyone out here... LOL ) On the other hand, if you would have called me out on it, maybe it would have eased my nerves and not every one of these other guys would have been as disasterous as they were.

so here it is... those are probably the only regrets.. well, other than not taking that bump in flight in May... lol ... and well, backing away when someone teasingly acted like he was going to kiss me. funny that... he also told my parents the first time he met them that we were getting married and sir, I remind you, I'm still waiting for a ring and an official proposal... LOL ... you know who you are. and if you don't remember exactly then yes, I will accept and review applications from all those that may think it was them. we're not getting any younger and I can forgive for not remembering.

where does this really leave me? well, this week, I decided that I have 2 years to turn a thing or two around. I have no intention of being the single fat chick at my 20th reunion and when I say that, I also mean that I have no intention of being the only virgin in the room. so something has to change. My goals at this point are to start an exercise program, cut down on artificial sweetners and soda pop so that I can lose weight and start to see some improvements in how I feel about myself.

I raise my decaf caramel macchiato to my regrets and wish them a sound good bye...!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Wrap up...

Weeeeelllll.... apparently even a challenge like this is too much to expect me to blog consistantly... AND keep track of things.

But... what I can report is that my fast food per week dropped from 10/15 to 5/10... which means my anticipated 50+ was more around 35 or so...

It helps a lot that it's summer and fresh local fruit is starting to be around more.

On the other hand... It's now July... 11 and just a bit more days until Harry Potter part 7.2. :) Yay! And then it's my other vacation... yes, I call it a staycation because I will be down at my Parent's place for a few days and then wandering my way home again around the Washington coast and penninsula and then... just a little while more until TEXAS!! hoping for ice cream and waterparks. LOL

More soon...

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Week one...

well... 4 days... LOL

Fast food count:
1 breakfast: sausage mcmuffin, no egg and a diet coke... (friday)
1 dinner: #4 - 2 cheeseburgers, large fry, diet coke... (thursday)

Coffee count:
2 usual from independant coffee stand (decaf americano, all ice no extra water, sf barista choice syrup and 1/2 n 1/2 - totally Atkins friendly and therefore, still a part of my 'diet' world even though I don't follow the plan anymore.)
1 ice tea - starbucks
1 2 shot decaf esspresso over ice, with sf cinnamon dolce and cream.

fast food food, from a non fast food source:
1 preztal w/ nacho cheese
1 hot dog

Not sure how to classify food from a Storm basketball game but I'll add it as a separate category ... seeing as I'll be having food from a Mariner's game tomorrow... will take pictures of that tomorrow. forgot today.

Okay so my total ... what I'm calling my total, for June so far is 2. if you are a 'purist' to the numbers, then fine, counting starbucks stops that is a 4...

It was interesting, fighting my instincts about grabbing my usual every night fast food option for dinner... I was trying to do another thing ... documented on my other blog about only making it on $20 for groceries for the week. I can do it... I came in under $20 but that included a lot of things I had on hand already. So I think I will shelve that goal for a bit - trying to get my fast food meals under control first. And my way to get that under control will be to try and make things from what I know I have at home first.

I haven't even gotten to the grilled cheese sandwiches yet... but managed to eat okay for the first week - I was doing the grocery thing all week.


Monday, May 30, 2011

envy... part 2

Okay... time again to overanalyze ourselves in this search to rid ourselves of envy issues.

Today's issue... 3rd or 5th wheel issues.

Most of us have been there, right? That strange little, odd, awkward situation that causes there to be an extra chair at the end of the table... an empty seat across from you...

the emptiness and loneliness of not having a hand to grab when you're walking around somewhere where you seem to be stopped and slowed at every turn by a couple who insist on walking side by side, hand in hand or hand in back pocket. (heaven forbid they're pushing a stroller or have a couple little cuties frolicking around by them... let's not even go to the place that lets us discuss guys having a guys night out with 3 generations. Although it would be interesting to follow up and find out how their wives felt about them feeding the 2 year olds, cotton candy at 9 pm... but I digress... these are also topics for future envy studies.) where were we... right... no one to lean back against when your back hurts or ... well, there's probably plenty of others...

It does sting a bit more when you realize that you again... again... are the only one in that position at a family dinner. Round tables are your friend but most often or not, the waitress sticks a chair on the end and you, because it seems silly to not, go ahead and sit on the end, sticking out like a sore thumb in the middle of the aisle. All this does is hammer home the fact that you are alone... let me say it again... ALONE!

Now again, this would not be so awkward if there were say, a niece or nephew for you to cuddle and take charge of because even though they are obviously not 'with' you... they ease the torment of the 3rd or 5th wheel situation for you because it does give you someone to even out the situation. Go ahead and entertain the notion of trying to beg and plead with someone to go along with you to family events... perhaps if they did, well, you could just claim it didn't work out later but that of course would be assuming you could find someone who might find you attractive enough to kiss you on occasion. *sigh* Good luck with that. and please let me know if you ever find that guy... I may need to borrow him... borrow, not pay... lol ...

It's envy that makes you feel this way... an emotional reaction to the things around you that makes you go - hey, i want that! I want that now!!. It doesn't work that way. You're not going to always get what you want. but like the song says... if you try... sometimes you get what you need.

But again now... who are you to know what you need. only God knows what you need and for the most part, he's blessed you with what you need. So stop trying to find other things that he's not determined are for you to have at this time.

Patience ... lots and lots of patience... (and chocolate) He will provide.

*peace N love*

Sunday, May 29, 2011

new project...

Fun bloggy thing for June that will be appearing right here....


Fast food...



Let's face it... it's fast, cheap and the easiest dinner you can manage.

But there are plenty things out there that say we eat it too much... so here's the challenge...

I will be tracking and blogging my fast food situations - because I have a few things going that I think will make it seem rather interesting.

I am going to track coffee separately because I personally don't think it counts if there is no food... anyone reading, can certainly lump them in but I'm not going to.

June first... coming soon... and a new project starting on the other blog too... stay tuned to that for details.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


*A several part piece about one of the unrealized afflictions*

this is part one.

**background** Sometimes, in spite of my blessings... I tend to get a bit bogged down in wishing for things that I don't have. and a long drive, full of plenty of time for self loathing... made me come to the realization that I have Envy issues. so... I figured maybe, I'll spend a little time blogging it and maybe it'll all ease away. Once I've worked through it. ;o) **


Not something we really like to admit having thoughts of, usually.

Really? I mean, honestly... REALLY??

We see it in the development of a character on tv or a movie... in a book. And we can usually spot it a mile away. But how often do we really see it in the mirror?

Envy is fuel that drives people to do things the would never consider doing in the first place. However, it can also be what drives you crazy when you're alone. You think that what you have isn't as good as what others have. You focus on what you're missing without realizing it.

No boyfriend.

No kids... no nieces or nephews... no money or stable job security to seek adoption. Total frustration at the fact that you have siblings that are married and haven't - after a certain amount of time - provided you with nieces and nephews to spoil and to give reason to drive away every other weekend - every FREE Weekend regardless of weather to visit and spoil them ... because you don't want them to not know who you are.

No husband... no one to make you dinner or rub your back or feet when you are tense and stressed.

No one really in your life to give you a hug when you've had a bad day. and I don't mean just a hug... I mean a tightly wrapped up in a pair of strong arms and them letting you cry if you need to ... kind of hug. perhaps accompanied by a chaste kiss on the forehead and a promise of your favorite pint of ice cream later with one of those aforementioned back rubs.

But I may be slightly digressing and we'll certainly address the items above at some point during this examination of Envy.

Your concept of envy can be skewed and judgemental. You have to stop and take an inventory of how you got to that point. And be prepared to realize that everything you've thought before is completely off base and accept that there's nothing you can do about how things have turned out except ... well... accept them.

Be prepared to be completely horrified to find out that what you wished for in a fit of envy induced rage and self pity ... has somewhat come true. And you cannot let yourself feel badly for too long... it's not your fault. And it really doesn't - at this point- do you any good to hope that you can somehow make it better... for yourself. Not every little thing is something that can be addressed by you. Look in the mirror. Just look.

For instance....

Girl meets boy... thinks boy is hot... gets hired by boy to work for the company - while not girl's direct supervisor, still awkward as he's sort of a boss... Girl still thinks boy is hot. Finds it horrifying that boy only comes by store when girl looks frumpy and messy. Boy flirts with girl at every phone call or even when she looks frumpy and messy. Girl falls deeper and deeper into ... well, if it's one sided is it truly love?... anyway. Boy crushes Girl with announcement that he's getting married... because she's pregnant. (no, not Girl. ... haven't you paid attention? Girl is the one afflicted by envy... stick with it... )

Girl experiences breathtaking, bone crushing... depression spiraling jolt of reality and realization.

Boy is only 2 years older... his new wife is way... WAAAAAY older than both of them. And it's devistatingly shocking and clear to realize that in spite of everything, you're too old or too young for every male in your generation ... who should be looking at you to settle down with but apparently they all prefer the decade before you or after you. And you should want to pull your hair out. (at least in college it was a 2 year swing... now it's at least 10 - 15 years and it makes you shudder...)

Girl... in throws of envy fit... imagines all sorts of revenge for this stealing of boy. (later slightly ashamed at it all when she realizes that he never saw her that way...)

Time passes. Distance seems to heal. Newer distractions present themselves for Girl's amusement but all still one sided... mystery men in different country are a subject for another time. (and yes, I find it completely interesting that I have actually journaled all of this on my deadjournal that I don't use anymore... LOL well, at least up to the point that the situation was deemed over but really just dormant, apparently...)

Girl comes across boy on social media network. (yes, she looked. she's looked before but he wasn't there...) Sends friend request. Does NOT message as that may get awkward again in a hurry.

Finds out 2 weeks after 'friending' that the wife has been battling aggressive breast cancer for past 2 years. double masectomy... the works. and it hasn't worked. She's headed to different country to try to take advantage of medical treatment not available in the states.

Girl - understandibly and suitably - is horrified at previous bad envy induced wishes from 7 years previous. and is at a total loss as far as how to provide any comfort. and struggles to keep Envy tamped down and out of sight.

Envy wins this round again and again. It is clearly the worst case of coming face to face with your envy. But it's not your fault. You had no idea. At the moment it was all happening... admittadly, you had your wedding planned and the kids named for a relationship with someone that didn't see you that way. Forget how nicely you would have fit together family wise. Forget you talked to one of your cousins about how cute he was and the fact that maybe next Christmas, you'd both have a boyfriend at the party who had the same name as each other. So you saw her as the intruder, when it should have been clear that they'd actually been together off and on for quite some time and you were merely the love struck girl who took innocent teasing and flirting way too far and gave it too much weight and meaning ... because you were desperate and totally envious of those that had the relationship you longed for.

Everyone has a few regrets and there could be someone else that envies what you have managed to have, just as you envy what they have. Because they should have had that life with you or because they wish they were still single and blissfully (seemingly...) untouched by the pain, drama and emotionally draining situation they've been mired in for a while.

Next envy study coming soon...! I swear...!

*peace & love*


I guess I haven't been that great at blogging this year either.

I really am trying to stay up on it but it's now harder with 2 blogs to update and as you - the invisible you- who doesn't seem to read or notice my blog - may have noticed, they were both done the same day.

Well, no more... I honestly am trying to really be on to something.

I haven't even really written much and keep getting stumped and caught by major cases of writers block. Got to get that taken care of before November.

then again, I really want to be fully finished with last year's story before I have to start thinking about it again. *sigh*

One vacation down though... a couple more to go. plenty more later this year about those.

anyway, just a little post before I really post what's been on my heart lately. You know, the only things that matter and all.


Friday, March 4, 2011


I didn't mean to miss the entire month of February...

But I did.

Not much happened.

College friends of mine lost their two boys in a car accident in January and to be honest, it kept me from forming deep thoughts to share for a while.

And as much as I long for that part of life that has been denied to me so far - marriage, kids... I honestly have no words to share ... I'd think that I'd rather have had it and lost it than to never had it at all - hmm.. sounds familiar. But I wouldn't want to go through losing them at all.

Better things to come with March Posts! I promise.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

First Snow of 2011

Well... clearly this is not of the snow... but this was the aftermath of trying to get to work by slogging through a giant slurpee... LOL

It snowed late on Tuesday and since I'm never sure what it will look like on the work side of things, I rode the bus.

My bus driver- the idiot- stated that he was having clutch/brake problems as he tried to pull away from the curb. anyway... after he drove regular speed ... hmm... wouldn't you think you'd go slower? I mean, you just stated that you had clutch and brake issues... hmph. Anyway... 1/2 an hour later after I got off, he pulled away and guess what? he had no chains on... no wonder he was having problems pulling away in about 6 to 10 inches of slush and snow... *sigh*

And then I started walking... and discovered that you cannot walk across slush.

even if it has a layer of snow on it.


So ... thankfully... I wore the velour track suit pants or I never would have made it with my jeans wet to the knees. LOL

and thank goodness for people who are willing to give you a ride home when your shoes and socks are still wet at the end of the day!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year 2011

I meant to post earlier... I had been thinking about New Year's Eve from when I was growing up and there were always such good times getting together with our friends.

It was really great to get together with all of them this summer and renew friendships... and start friendships on an even more personal scale.

Then I was thinking about how much things changed in the past year - Seattle has seen many many changes. Ken Griffey Jr retiring... Seattle Storm winning another national title... Dave Neihaus passing away and a huge snow storm that practically kept us all imobilized before Thanksgiving. Did I mention the snow this week?

But then it also dawned on me that this is the dawning of a new decade as well and this nation has come such a long long way since New Years Eve 2001.

I don't think any of us feel as secure as we did over 10 years ago. September 11 is all that anyone needs to say to have everyone pause in their steps and remember exactly what they were doing on that gorgeously sunny Tuesday Morning. And before we consider that things are relatively safe - they're not really. People have become much more sneaky about what they are trying to do, even though their goals have remained the same. And in return - Airline security has gotten that much stricter. And finally, airfares have dropped to a fairly normal level and I have taken advantage of decent pricing over the last couple years to do what I want to do in travelling.

So in face and light of a brand new start, I hope that 2011 turns out to be a blessed, safe and happy time for all.